weekly ten: schooled by snow

1) Snow is nice... the first day.  By day four, not so much.

2) Keep chocolate on hand. You know, for snow emergencies.  There is no telling how long before you are going to feel brave enough to leave the house.  In the meantime, chocolate really does calm the nerves.  Or something like that.  Okay.  I just really like it, and not having any during my time of need created a lot of unnecessary suffering for me and my dog.  (Mostly me, but people tend to feel more sympathy for dogs than 30-somethings, so I thought I'd drag her in for persuasive value.) 

3) Cake Boss, Millionaire Matchmaker and Housewives of Beverly Hills can get you through just about any crisis... including acute snow-bound-boredom syndrome.  Sadly, I did not read a single book during my snow-cation.  Sad.  Sad. Sad.  What have I become?!?

4) When faced with the annoyance of freezing temperatures and arctic breezes, do not assume that your dog will pee in her usual (subtext: outdoor) places.  I know: TMI.

5) When your dog chooses to pee behind the sofa instead of OUTSIDE, remember this: Sure, vinegar neutralizes the scent of said dog pee, but now your house smells like vinegar... and you're stuck with it until the freaking roads clear enough for you to actually go somewhere... anywhere.  

6) INVEST IN SOME PRACTICAL BOOTS.  Seriously, I've thought this at least 100 (or 3) times over the last few months.  Leigh, look at those cute Wellingtons.  You should get some for when it rains really hard... or snows... or for when you want to channel Paddington...  Geez, girl.  Listen to your inner voice every now and then!    

7) Snow is the perfect excuse for a sister's sleep-over. And for eating breakfast food 27-4.  

8) When embarking upon your first "#$%@ this ice! I was born to be free!" car excursion, remember to throw a bag of mulch, cat litter or something of similar grit into the trunk.  It will provide just enough traction to get you (or the unfortunate snow-trapped souls you decide to rescue) unstuck and back on your (their) wobbly way.

9) Don't take any money with you when embarking upon previously alluded-to excursion. You will spend it... probably on crap you don't need.  My purchases? Three picture frames, several floral stems, a sports bra, pepperoni, and ridiculous quantities of frozen veggies (I think as some sort of psychological counter-response to actually wanting very badly to buy chocolate, which I did not buy, but should have because, seriously, when am I going to eat frozen brussel sprouts?!? And now I have all of these veggies when what I really want is a huge brownie... and a couple of tacos).    

10) Silver lining: Even though the ice officially melted yesterday, church today was still pushed back to 1:00 pm.  God does love me!  

Back to work tomorrow.  Sigh.