honorary degree plan...

...in kinesiology, with an emphasis in competetive running.  And this is just THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE! 

Day one: Endurance.  Open Road. 
Jog/run 5 "easy miles" followed by four consecutive 100 meter acceleration strides. 

An acceleration stride, btw, is basically a runner's crescendo, intentionally building momentum so that you hit your personal max speed by the time you cross the finish line.  Mine were more like very awkward sprints.  Imagine a clumsy ostrich and I think you'll have a fairly accurate visual.  Not to mention the fact that my 5 "easy miles" (there is actually a formula for this!) left me about ready to pass out.  Good thing I had my super cool hydration belt with me.  :)  I'm officially a dork.



And, yes, the belt makes me feel totally legit.  And I'm being serious.  Like Wonder Woman.  All I need are some awesome wrist bands, a tiara, and a lasso.  Not sure what I'd do with the lasso while running, but I'm pretty sure I need one all the same.

Day 2: Endurance and Speed.  Treadmill.  

Run 1 mile at "race" pace (based on personal goal) followed by 1/2 mile at "easy" pace.  Repeat for a total of 3 miles.

Day 3: Speed work.  Treadmill. 

This is where it gets complicated.  If you need a refresher on algebraic order of operations, click HERE. 

1.) 8 x [1/4 mile at "race" pace minus 15 seconds (WTH?!?  See note below for details!) followed by 1/4 mile @ "easy" pace]

2.) 4 x [1/4 mile at "race" pace minus 30 seconds (more math?!?) followed by 1/4 mile @ "easy" pace]

3.) 1 x 1/2 mile at ("race" pace + "easy" pace)/2

4.) Collapse on floor in utter exhaustion.

Days 4 and 5: Endurance.  Open road or treadmill.

Jog/Run 4-5 miles at "easy" pace followed by 4 acceleration strides.

Day 6: Endurance and Speed.  Treadmill. 

5 miles at "race" pace plus 15 seconds. 

Additional Notes:
1.) For an easy run mapper, try http://www.walkjogrun.net/.  Very easy to use.  Create your own route, or search the database.

2.) I prefer the treadmill for speed runs.  I'm simply not experienced enough to gauge or hold myself to faster paces without constantly checking my phone app (I use My Tracks to monitor my route and pace).  While I love keeping track of my pace on easy runs (I check during my 30 second recovery walks at the end of each mile, which are marked on my running route), the constant checking required to monitor faster paces is very distracting for me.     

3.) Those pesky "plus/minus x seconds" mean x-seconds faster (minus) or slower (plus) than the indicated miles/minute pace.  In other words, since my 5K goal time is 29 minutes, that makes my race pace about 6.4 mph, or a 9:19 minute mile.    Minus 15 means a 9:04 mm, or a pace of about 6.6 mph.  Minus 30 means an 8:49 mm, or a pace of about 6.8 mph.  Plus 15, a 9:34 mm at about 6.3 mph.  You get the idea.  (I used the aforementioned link, pictured below, to help me calculate these numbers.)

Have I mentioned today how much I love the Internet?!?

Happy running!

pigs do fly

This is me.  I run now.  Yes.  I know.  WHY?!?  Because it makes my workouts shorter.  Because I look good in running shorts.  Because when I go to get my oil changed looking like this, I get free stuff.  I'm not kidding.  Today I got a free tail light replacement!  I never got free stuff before.  Never. 

But that's not really why I run.

Mostly, I run because it forces me to get real with why I let myself go in the first place.  I believe that few if any of our patterns (ways of thinking, reacting, being, caring, etc.) exist in isolation.  Getting real with my physical health has, consequently, brought me into direct confrontation with many of my deepest insecurities, hang-ups, rationalizations and personal myths.  (I call these "stories".  I have quite a few.)  Fertile ground for some serious self-counseling.

I know I'm supposed to say "self-help", but I prefer "self-counseling".  It seems to honor the process a little better.  For instance, this week while contemplating (subtext: bemoaning, griping about, defending, then finally owning) my lack of discipline re: my dream of running a 5K in less than 30 minutes, I realized that I don't go all out in my training because, deep down, I'm afraid my hard work will be for naught, that nothing will really change, that I'll be forever stuck in the same place.

Surely some are saying to themselves, "Dude.  Get a grip.  It's a 5K.  What's with the all the analysis and worry and sweat and painful introspection?!?"  But for me running has become something more.  I find so many parallels between what I experience--the bitter and the sweet--while running and what I experience in the rest of my life.  Running is becoming a sort of spiritual exercise for me, deeply personal.  It's symbolic and empowering.  It's the Hero's Journey made very tangible and concrete.  It is adversity and pain and the darkness before the dawn and, ultimately, victory.  When I run a race, I think, "Man.  I'm here.  I showed up.  And I'm going to finish this thing and eat me a banana and make a connection and go home and feel like I did something!"  And I take that confidence with me into other parts of my life.

So, yeah.  That's kind of great.

I'm a new runner, though, and I'm still learning.  Lately, I've sort of plateaued... before meeting that goal I mentioned a few lines ago.  For weeks, I managed to adroitly avoid any deep analysis of said plateau despite a growing sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction. 

This has been really bothering me. 

Again... nothing happens in isolation... I knew this avoidance connected to other parts of my life, I just couldn't quite put my finger on what or how.  (In counselorese, this budding awareness constitutes an important part of the Change Cycle known as Contemplation.  It's where one finally gets that they have a problem, much like Amy Whinehouse must have felt right before she finally checked herself into rehab.  I should probably google her and see how that worked out before I use her as the poster child for Contemplation... Moving on... )

While talking with a new running friend about plateaus and speed and self-talk and the Universe, I realized that, for me, this particular plateau was becoming a sort of comfort zone, a place where I could safely exist and feel okay about myself, but not a place where I felt challenged or meaningful.  I realized that I have been choosing to settle into this safety zone not out of some Zen Why-Rock-The-Universe? Inner Peace, but for fear that my Universe couldn't be rocked... which is a seriously depressing thought cuz, for reals, baby was meant for more than this, yo! 

And here's the bring-it-all-full-circle kicker: I know that I do this in other significant areas of my life, too.  Routinely.  Important areas.  And now I'm thinking, "Holy crap."

Fear is a subtle beast. 

One thing that running has taught me is that motivation follows action, and not the other way around.  (Actually, a speaker at Time Out for Women taught me that. But running helped make it real.) 

We don't change because we suddenly, like magic, find our motivation.  We change because we finally decide that--ready or not--we are going to do something... anything.  Put shoes on.  Turn the t.v. off.  Take our meds.  Whatever.  (I don't judge.)  The point is, we make a choice and we takeaction... even though we aren't 100% sure yet what the outcome of that choice will be.  (I think they call this faith.)

So, tonight, with the help of this cool new invention called the Internet, I worked out a new running plan.  It's a little scary.  Speed work apparently requires a minor in astrophysics.  Oh, well.  Nothing I can't handle.  I went to college, after all.  I remember SOHCAHTOA.  I did have to look up a bunch of running words.  Gonna have to work on some new skills, but nothing too crazy.  Just new.  Yep, sounds like Life in microcosm to me.

I took some steps on some of that other stuff, too.  Equally scary.  (SOHCAHTOA didn't help, by the way.)

Motivation follows action. 

Now to find out what the heck an "acceleration stride" is.

getting out of dodge

For anyone who has the blues, may I suggest a little more green.

Last summer, I got really depressed.  I don't want to dwell on it.  It doesn't really make sense to me yet.  Well, it sort of does, and it sort of doesn't.  You know how it goes.  But I'm a fighter, so between crying jags, I started making a mental list of all of the disappointments that seemed to be taking over my thinking.  My goal wasn't to dwell, but rather to sort.  There are things we can change quickly, and things that take time.  When someone is depressed, they need to focus initially on the things they can change quickly, things that, once addressed, might help moderate their mood enough so that they can adopt a more healthy perspective on the stuff that's going to take time. 

My depression was characterized by sense of loss.  All these experiences that I started thinking I might never have.  Before I knew it, the list was really long.  I felt like my life, or at least the life I dreamed of, had sort of slipped away.  I knew cerebrally that my life was actually in full swing.  I did the whole "evidence for/evidence against" exercise and could see that  things were very, very good.  But the feeling of dread was still there.  The feeling that nothing would ever change.  That I'd just sort of float through life without really loving it.

And I started thinking about what I wanted and what I could get and how I could get it.  Hence, the sort.  Now, to be honest, most of my woes went into the "No Freaking Clue How That's Going to Happen" pile.  Many of those items are still there (I'm just a little more at peace about them now). 

And then there was Ireland.

I have always loved the idea of Ireland.  I can't explain it.  Everyone wants to see Paris or Rome.  I wanted to see cobbled stone walls lining narrow roads, sheep everywhere, and really old abbeys.  I wanted to listen to people talk like leprechauns.  I wanted to walk and walk and walk through Irish countryside.  And meet a boy named Declan.

"No Freaking Clue" could not claim Ireland.

So I bought my ticket and went.  By myself.  I rented a car and got three flats in one day while driving though breathtaking, yet perilous Irish hills on St. Patrick's Day.

And I was saved by a boy named Declan.

There's more, of course.  But the really important thing was that I went and loved it and I came back feeling changed.  Not just recharged.  That's what I lot of people want from a vacation, to feel recharged.  I wanted more than recharged.  And I think I got it.  I've thrown away the "No Freaking Clue" list.  It's a downer.  The other list is getting longer.  It's just called The List.  No need for fanfare. 

Next stop: Sedona and the Grand Canyon. 

weekly ten: schooled by snow

1) Snow is nice... the first day.  By day four, not so much.

2) Keep chocolate on hand. You know, for snow emergencies.  There is no telling how long before you are going to feel brave enough to leave the house.  In the meantime, chocolate really does calm the nerves.  Or something like that.  Okay.  I just really like it, and not having any during my time of need created a lot of unnecessary suffering for me and my dog.  (Mostly me, but people tend to feel more sympathy for dogs than 30-somethings, so I thought I'd drag her in for persuasive value.) 

3) Cake Boss, Millionaire Matchmaker and Housewives of Beverly Hills can get you through just about any crisis... including acute snow-bound-boredom syndrome.  Sadly, I did not read a single book during my snow-cation.  Sad.  Sad. Sad.  What have I become?!?

4) When faced with the annoyance of freezing temperatures and arctic breezes, do not assume that your dog will pee in her usual (subtext: outdoor) places.  I know: TMI.

5) When your dog chooses to pee behind the sofa instead of OUTSIDE, remember this: Sure, vinegar neutralizes the scent of said dog pee, but now your house smells like vinegar... and you're stuck with it until the freaking roads clear enough for you to actually go somewhere... anywhere.  

6) INVEST IN SOME PRACTICAL BOOTS.  Seriously, I've thought this at least 100 (or 3) times over the last few months.  Leigh, look at those cute Wellingtons.  You should get some for when it rains really hard... or snows... or for when you want to channel Paddington...  Geez, girl.  Listen to your inner voice every now and then!    

7) Snow is the perfect excuse for a sister's sleep-over. And for eating breakfast food 27-4.  

8) When embarking upon your first "#$%@ this ice! I was born to be free!" car excursion, remember to throw a bag of mulch, cat litter or something of similar grit into the trunk.  It will provide just enough traction to get you (or the unfortunate snow-trapped souls you decide to rescue) unstuck and back on your (their) wobbly way.

9) Don't take any money with you when embarking upon previously alluded-to excursion. You will spend it... probably on crap you don't need.  My purchases? Three picture frames, several floral stems, a sports bra, pepperoni, and ridiculous quantities of frozen veggies (I think as some sort of psychological counter-response to actually wanting very badly to buy chocolate, which I did not buy, but should have because, seriously, when am I going to eat frozen brussel sprouts?!? And now I have all of these veggies when what I really want is a huge brownie... and a couple of tacos).    

10) Silver lining: Even though the ice officially melted yesterday, church today was still pushed back to 1:00 pm.  God does love me!  

Back to work tomorrow.  Sigh. 

gh 2011

Caution: Endless chatter about soap operas (and my dream of someday writing for one) about to ensue.

And now to get down to business...

1) Brenda must die.  Preferably at her own wedding.  Sonny, her husband of all of 3 minutes (if we're lucky), will do his best to swear off women.  Six weeks should do it.  (This is Soap Opera Land, after all.)  This will give GH writers time to create the back story for his next femme fatal: an assassin named Lola (real name Saffron Jones) hired by indignant mob relatives of the disrespected Lopez Brothers to right the wrong perpetrated by the Corinthos Organization when it framed said Hermanos Lopez for the bombing of Johnny Zacchara's car.  Lola/Saffron will weasle her way into Sonny's life, gathering incriminating information as she goes (like that ever works?!?), then attempt to bomb Sonny's car, poetic justice style.  Something will, of course, go wrong, and they will end up trapped together for at least 72 hours under a boulder or something and inevitably fall in love.  It will be perfect.  Then, like so many disposable characters before her, Lola/Saffron will die on *her* wedding day. 

2) Lulu will finally dump Idiot Dante's bohiney.  Why?  A: Their romance got boring some time ago.  B: Dante was dumb enough to fall for Brenda.  C:  I have other plans for Dante.  But first, my plans for Lulu.  Lulu's scallawagging but loveable half-brother, Ethan, will recieve an unexpected houseguest, his long-lost mate and once-upon-a-con partner in crime, Shepherd Jennings.  (And, yes, he will speak with an accent.)  Shepherd, tired of running from the law, is ready to make right and go strait, but he's got one more debt to settle and Ethan is the only one he can trust (maybe).  Lulu, ever the guardian of plans about to go awry, will, of course, step in to provide a much needed moral compass.  Partnering with these loveable ne'er-do-wells will remind her of the good old days and, presto, she and Shepherd will start to fall and fall hard.  Luke (Lulu and Ethan's father), will then sell Ethan and Shep controlling interest in his (er, Tracey's) casino, the two will go legit (sort of), and Lulu will be happier than ever with her new man.  Maxie, of course, will approve.  Win-win...win.

3) Dante, dumped and broken, will take a leave from the Port Charles Police Dept.  While on leave, he will discover the plot to kill Sonny.  He, Jason, Lucky and I'm-Not-A-Kid-Anymore! Michael will then join forces only to discover that the treachery goes deeper and darker than any of them could have possibly imagined.  Best of all, someone will die!

4) Dr. Lisa Niles, bane of Port Charles' existence, will happen upon a washed-up (literally), barely breathing Jerry Jax, mastermind of evil, while pulling over to text a friend (insert  "Don't Text While Driving" PSA here).  Lisa, no nice girl herself, will feel an instant attraction.  While nursing him to health, Lisa will discover that they share an uncanny love for NASCAR and making other people miserable.  Evil love will blossom just in time for Fall Sweeps and the most insane act of diabolical horror EVER.   

That's it... for now. 

If, by chance, any GH writers actually happen upon this post, please contact me ASAP.  I can start working right away.  Serioulsy. 

eleven

...the total number of points I scored my first night of racquetball.  Eleven glorious points!  Sure, it took me 5 matches to get there (0,0,1,4,6).  I loved every minute.  Especially the one where six middle-aged fat guys (any one of whom--I confress--could have creamed me) were making faces at me from the other side of the glass. That was priceless. I'm also pretty sure it means I'm 'in'.

This week's #1 training goal: learn to serve.  (Yes, I am aware that I am inexplicably talking like someone from the third world... Abu's #1 Taxi... Botswana's #1 Ladies Detective Agency... Leigh's #1 Training Goal). 

*Contented sigh* 

My booty's gonna be in some major pain tomorrow...  

the whole foods $99 pantry starter list

Not sure why I find this so fascinating.  I think it has something to do with the pantry-worthiness of arame sea vegetable (like, for rolling sushi?), any kind of milk except the kind that comes from a cow, tahini (um, because every pantry should be hummus-ready?) and tamari (wheat-free soy sauce... I had to look that one up).  I don't know...  Sounds kind of fun... 

4 lbs dried beans
4 15-oz cans no-salt-added beans
4 lbs whole grains
2 lbs whole-wheat pasta
2 lbs steel-cut oats
1 6-oz can tomato paste
2 14.5 oz. cans no-salt-added diced tomatoes
1 32-oz box low sodium organic vegetable broth
1 32-oz box organic unsweetened soymilk
1 32-oz box organic unsweetened almond milk
1 14-oz can organic lite coconut milk
1 8-oz pkg organic mellow white miso
1 2-oz pkg arame sea vegetable
1 16-oz jar tahini
1 18-oz jar organic no-salt-added peanut butter
8 oz each organic raw almonds, walnuts, and sunflower seeds
8 oz each organic dried apricots, dates, and raisins
1 8-oz squeeze bottle organic Dijon mustard
1 32-oz bottle organic apple cider  vinegar
1 10-oz bottle reduced-sodium tamari